Thursday, June 23, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
All it took...
“Meera, is that you?” she called out. She couldn’t see very well without her glasses. Heaven knew where she had flung them when she had entered the room earlier. As she turned, she realised someone had lit the fire. And there was her favourite cup of coffee and some scones lying on the table. The coffee had turned cold. Someone had brought them when she was busy in her thoughts. As she squinted to get a better look at her visitor, she realised this lady was way too thin to be Meera. Unable to contain hers curiosity, she called out again. “Who is standing there? Why don’t you speak?”
Someone would have thought she was blind! The girl or lady or whoever she was... she was a mere twenty feet away from her... just across the room! She probably should go and see for herself, but what good will that do if she didn’t have her glasses??? Before she could even start looking for them, the girl moved forward. She held out something. Her glasses! Thank god for little mercies! Now that she had put them on she realised it was Isabelle. Sweet Isabelle. There was no other adjective for her!
“What are you doing here Isa? I thought you weren’t going to return till the end of next week. Is everything well?” she asked her. Isabelle had been gone for almost 3 weeks now. She was her best friend cum secretary. It was a relief to have Isa back, she couldn’t deny it. The house seemed very empty without her. But why was she back so soon? She had gone to visit her family in Scotland. She wasn’t due for another 10 days. It worried her that Isabelle had forgone her vacation to be back here.
“I came two days ago. Meera called. She was frantic. I have been here for almost an hour, watching you. What happened Ashley?” Isabelle asked taking her hand and leading her to her favourite chair beside the fireplace. She was cold. Isabelle’s warm touch made her realise she had been shivering. What happened she had asked? How could she even begin to tell her what had happened... when it had happened oh so many years ago. Did it even matter that much today? She was lost in her thoughts again. Thoughts of him. Of his intoxicating beauty. And the feel of his touch. Hadn’t she promised she would meet him once... before her life was over? And hadn’t he told her that day would never come? Then why was she thinking about him now? Why today? He had ignored her at the market. Hadn’t even recognised her! Why then did it matter so much to her? She had a fulfilling life. Meera and Gerald- two lovely kids. Benjamin- a wonderful husband. A full and satisfying career. Audrey and Alex- Two grandkids. What more could she ask from life? Her life seemed picture perfect!
But she was lost... thinking about that one summer, back in France, where she had met him for the first time. It was her sister’s wedding. She smiled ruefully as she realised that there was no apparent reason for her sister to get married in France. Yet she had done that. And he was there. With that intoxicating beauty, that tantalizing smile, those warm brown eyes and a wit as sharp as his knife. Why did he always carry that knife anyways? It would have been love at first sight, had she been looking at all. But as life would have it, she looked but didn’t really notice. They had met again six years later, to celebrate the birth of her sister’s first born-Charlotte. Before she knew it, she was head over heels in love with him. What had it taken? One drink, a few memories and just that one touch!! They had promised to be together forever... as all young do. But that was the end of the story for her. She never saw him... not for the next thirteen years! Where was he? What was he doing? What had happened to all those promises he had made? And the most important question... why hadn’t he ever contacted her???? All these questions were swarming in her mind when she met him by chance at a cafe. He was holding an infant in his arms, a girl who had the same brown eyes. And before she could ask any of her questions, before she could even open her mouth, he had started speaking very fast. He was telling her about his life, why he hadn’t called but she was not interested. And then he had stated that he would never forget her. Not even when he was eighty and she was seventy-five. How strange that all she remember about that conversation was this!
She realised Isabelle was still looking at her, expecting some answers from her. Now that she came to think of it, she was speaking something. Why was she speaking so slowly? Had Isabelle gone dumb? She couldn’t hear Isabelle at all! But it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she had promised to meet him. And two days ago, when she had seen him at the market he hadn’t recognised her! Oh Ethan!!! Why did you not keep the promise? Why did you not recognise me? Millions of questions running around her mind. There was no solution. Probably Meera knew how she could find him? She would ask Meera.
Meera came in just then and seeing Isabelle sitting with her mom, she thought she shouldn’t disturb. But it seemed her mom was again in her own world. It worried Meera. She had been seeing her mother in the same delirious state for the last two days. If things didn’t improve by the end of the day, she will have to call up Gerald, her doctor brother.
Her mother seemed to sense her presence. She was talking about having to meet Ethan. Who was Ethan? Did dad know him? Why was mom so worried about meeting Ethan? And where to even start looking for Ethan??? She tried asking her mom, what was his full name or where did he live... but she refused to give any other information. Meera was worried sick.
Somewhere in the house, today’s newspaper had a small obituary:
Ethan Garnett, Writer, dies at age 72
Ethan Garnett, author of three best seller books died today at his home. He was best known for his book ‘The Jungle called Civilization’ which was nominated for the Magsaysay award. His other two books, ‘Living with Eli’ and ‘Urban Rural’ have been on the bestselling list for more than 3 months. He was known for his satirical writing
Ethan is survived by his wife, Rachael, and two daughters – Jennifer and Tamara.
There will be a family only viewing at the Chapel Hill Funeral Home on Friday February 20, from 3pm to 5pm and a public viewing for friends and family from 7pm until 9pm. On Saturday, February 21, 2009 the service will be held at the Chapel Hill Funeral Home at 10am with the procession to the cemetery to immediately follow. Ethan will be interred at the Chapel Hill Cemetery in the Garnett family plot of four.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
तमन्ना...बेखयाल!
दिल की हर तमन्ना बेखयाल
हर चाहत कही खो गयी है
आज बारिश भी जैसे रो रही है
किसी की आहट से इतनी घबराहट क्यों ,
की लब सिले , आँखे भी नम है
होश नाम का भी नहीं
और फिर वही मदहोशी है
वही गुमनाम अँधेरे
वही बेपनाह सवेरे…
बड़ी शिद्दत के बाद जीना सीखा था
झूठा ही सही , हसना सीखा था
कही किसी कोने में दिल के, यादे दफनाये
एक बार फिर से खुलना सीखा था
है शिकायते इतनी की गिनती भूल गए है
है दर्द इतना सीने में की आदत सी पड़ गयी है
जो कभी हम जीते थे किसी के लिए ….
आज मरने को जी रहे है
और मौत भी आज मुस्कुरा कर
दामन छुड़ा चली हैं …
क्यों क़ैद हूँ इस भवर में
क्यों क़ैद हूँ दुनिया की नज़र में
जब बचे ही नहीं कोई सपने , फिर
क्यों क़ैद हूँ उन टुकड़ो में …
आज नजाने क्यों हकीक़त से रूबरू हूँ
जो दौड़ रहा है नस नस में , उस दर्द से वाकिफ हूँ
गिले शिकवे नहीं है मुझे उस से कही
बस खुद ही की नज़र में नाकाबिल हूँ ….
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Chapter 2
“ Excuse me but could you tell me the way to block C?” Shaina asked a boy who was tall and very good-looking.
“ Go right on the first crossing, block C would be on your left side. Which building do you want to go to?” asked the boy.
“ Building no. 24.”
“ No way, I live in the same building. Come I will help you,” he said eyeing her luggage. She was carrying two huge suitcases, one air bag, and a handbag. He took one of her suitcases and the air bag from her and dragged them along as they made their way towards building 24.
“ I am Namit. I live on the third floor.”
“ Hello Namit, myself Shaina. My parents live on the third floor. I am just coming from my hostel.”
“ You are Mr. And Mrs. Gupta’s daughter I assume.”
“ Yes you are right.”
“ Then welcome, because I am your next door neighbor.”
They had reached their destination, and her mom looked relieved that she had found Namit on her way. Namit Khandelwal was their next-door neighbor as he had just mentioned to her, who lived with his parents, and had just completed his class XII just like Shaina herself. Shaina Gupta, a beautiful girl, she had completed her XII from Bangalore, and had come home to Delhi to live with her parents and complete her studies. She had waist long curly-straight hair, huge black eyes; a heart shaped face and was taller than most girls, having a height of five feet seven inches. Like her parents she loved people and was very caring. She was mature for her age owing to the fact that she had lived in a boarding school since class six and was now finally home.
“ Mom, I am starving. Do you have something to eat?” she shouted from her room where she was unpacking her suitcases.
“ Do you want some Maggi?” asked Namit from the door.
“ Oh! You are still here? I thought you left.”
“ No I was just taking some information about you from your mom. So where do you plan to take admission here?” he asked sitting on the bed.
“ I have no idea. I don’t know anything about colleges here.”
“ All right then, would you like to come college hunting with me tomorrow onwards? I am doing the same thing now…picking up forms and running around colleges. By the way what do you plan to take?”
“English honors with mass communication.”
“Lovely… we seem to be in the same boat. See you at nine tomorrow morning Shaina.”
And he had left before she could say yes.
“Mom whats with him? And tell me who the hell is he?” Shaina complained to her mom who came in the room with a plate of hot samosas for her.
“He is Namit and don’t worry, he is a nice kid. And stop complaining, you are getting a friend without even going to college.”
“Is he really ok mom?”
“I am telling you he is. And he is exactly your type. The same hobbies, the same likes and dislikes, and tell you what, the same kind of music.”
“You mean he is also into Rafi’s songs? Lovely.”
That gives an idea about both of them. They went college hunting together on Namit’s bike and within a few days they had come to know each other pretty well. They got admission in St. Patrick's College, and being in the same class gave their friendship another push. They seemed to be together 18 hours in 24 hours.
In college she made friends with three of his friends… Tarang, Dhruv, and Chirag. And it was a group of five… until two other girls of their class joined in, Preksha and Samira. The group expanded to seven and they were all inseparable. College life is fun for everybody and all seven of them had a blast. Tarang was a national level boxer, Chirag played the guitar in the college band, Dhruv and Namit had joined the Interact Club of college where as all the three girls were reporters for the college magazine, ‘Natmastak’. Along with these extra curricular activities, all seven of them studied together and were top of the class. The maximum credit went to Samira and Namit for this, as they were the only ones who bothered to study and dragged everyone along.
“Guys what say we start a new column in the paper?” asked Shaina one day as they were coming out of their mass communication class.
“What column are you talking about?” asked Dhruv, the only one interested in the paper and magazine of the college other than the girls.
Shaina had just been promoted as the assistant editor of the college paper, which was issued fortnightly. It had all the columns that a college paper should have but everything seemed like surface water to her. There was no depth in either the writings or the readers. It had jokes and dating tips, and love signs, but nothing that appealed to the youth of the nation.
“I want to start a topic column.”
“Now what is a topic column?” asked Chirag now getting a bit interested in the conversation. The girls already knew about it. She had talked to them before hand and since they seconded the idea, she put it in front of the boys.
“Under this column the paper will give one topic in every issue. The readers will respond to it and the best replies will be published in the third issue. The topics could be ranging from ‘the best date you had’ to ‘the needs of the country’ and so on.”
“But do you think you will get a good response? Because if you do not Sandy will eat you up!” remarked Dhruv. Sandy was the main editor and he taught them English general in class until 1st year. He had a reputation for not putting in anything new that was not worth a thought in the paper, and he hated those people who came up with ideas that hardly worked.
“He may not like it at first but I’ll have to give it a try. I talked to others in the class about this and they seemed quite eager to share their views with the rest of the college. Besides, if it does not work we can stop it after a couple of issues,” said Shaina in a half confident tone.
“Shaina, it’s a good idea, but look up a few topics and list them first. Give them out as an experiment in class in zero period tomorrow, and we will evaluate the results. If we get a good response, we can put it on the second stage.” This was Namit and for the moment she loved him for it. He was the only guy in the entire group who not only listened to the idea, but also gave you an immediate course of action. It usually worked, and when it did not, they quit the idea forever. That is exactly what Shaina had decided. If it did not work out the next day in class, she would quit the idea altogether.
The next day as soon as the zero period started, Shaina came on the professor’s table.
“I need to tell you all something if all of you can spare me a minute today,” she began on the mike on the table. The students wondered what she had to say and just out of curiosity everyone sat down at their respective places.
“We all know that we have a college paper which has a vast number of topics covering everything from studies to personal lives but is it all that youth of today need? We have come here to study journalism, but how many of us are really aware of whats going on around us?” A few hands shot up in the air, “and how many know whats going on inside us?” All hands came down just as soon as they had gone up.
“That’s what I am here to talk about today. I am Shaina Gupta, the assistant editor of the college paper and am wondering if I could get your support to start a new column in the paper. The column would be called ‘IT’S US’ and will give out one topic in each issue. We ask for responses from the readers, especially the mass communication and English department. The best responses would be published in the first issue of the next month. Now for the trick… I am handing out one paper to each of you sitting here. It has one topic written on it. Just write whatever you feel about it and put it in the box kept on the cupboard near the gate. You can give in the papers up till tomorrow start of zero period. Anybody who does not want to do it need not bother, but I’ll remind you just one thing… all of you here are to study how to report things to others, and to do that you need to have strong opinions about the matter yourself. Thank you for listening to me. And now if you will sit, we will hand out the papers. Please write your name on the paper, we will need it when we publish them.” With this Shaina ended her speech and her friends moved forward to distribute the papers. It was amazing because not one of the 75 students had moved from the seat while the papers were being distributed and Dhruv called it her first victory.
“ Don’t be so sure. The first stage is to see the responses we get tomorrow,” was all Shaina could say. She had been up all night getting topics worth thinking and had finally come up with three good ones. She wrote down each of them on a piece of paper and got 30 copies of each in the morning. She had not told it to anybody but she was betting a lot on this experiment. It would cost her her future if it did not work out because Sandy did not let go easy. He would be constantly on her back and she may be thrown out of the paper. Her anxiety got the better of her and she could not sleep all night. Her mom had not seen her this worried since her class ten boards, and could not help wondering what was bothering her.
“ Are you ok Shaina?” she asked when she could hold it back no longer.
“ Mom I am ok but I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. If the results are not up to the mark, I will be the laughing stock of the entire college. Plus, Sandy will throw me out.” She blurted out everything to her mom in one go.
“ Don’t worry child. You’ll scrape through.”
“ I don’t want to scrape through mom. I want to come out with flying colors. It’s the first big step towards my career in paper.”
“ Child you know whats your problem? You worry too much. True that you show confidence and end up doing things just as they need to be done in front of others, but deep within you worry too much. Stop worrying. Remember to play your part. You cannot mark yourself. It is upon someone else. Now go have some sleep. Whatever the result tomorrow you know you will have Namit and your friends beside you. That’s what matters.”
“ Mom what made you say Namit and others?” she asked because generally her mom never remembered her friends’ name.
“ Because I am not blind child. I can see whats going on.”
“ But what is going on?”
“ You are in love with him aren’t you?”
“ Don’t be ridiculous mom. He is just a friend, nothing else.”
“ Ms. Reporter, give yourself a topic first. Look into my eyes and say you do not love him. Or better still try not talking to him for 24 hours if you can and see him talking to Preksha and Samira. You’ll know.”
And her mom was out of her room before she could say ‘Namit’. The thought set Shaina thinking. Was she really in love with him? Of course not. He was just a friend… mom is hallucinating; she concluded and went off to sleep.
Next morning when Namit came to her room to ask how long before they could leave for college, she sat there staring at him. Was mom true? No she thought and put the thought in a remote corner of her mind. She got ready as quickly as she could and left for college all the while thinking hard about the events of the night.
“ What are you so tensed about Shaina?” he asked when he realized that the ever talkative Shaina had not spoken even a word during the 45 minute ride to college.
“ Nothing,” she lied.
“ You know you are awful at lying. Is it the results?” he asked solicitously.
She moved her head in agreement not knowing what else to say. As she entered the classroom she gave a quick look at the box, which would decide her fate at least for the college term. What she saw was unbelievable. The box was overflowing and there was another bigger box kept next to it, which was almost full, and people were still coming in with their sheets.
“ Namit have a look at the box,” she screamed. All six of them rushed towards the box and the number of sheets left them gasping in sheer shock.
“ Wow look at this. Seems like the entire college is putting in thoughts,” remarked Preksha.
“ Not the entire college Preksha, just our class. But they are a step ahead.” Smiled Samira.
“ What do you mean Sammy?” asked Dhruv.
“ Sammy is right. All of them have written about all three topics. Have a look at this.” And Chirag showed them three papers stapled together with the name of the person, who had written about all three topics.
“ I don’t believe it. I just don’t believe it,” said Shaina repeatedly.
“ Lets do something nice for a change,” instructed Namit taking charge, “ two of you attend classes today and the rest of us will sort out all these sheets and send them to Sandy for an overview.”
“Right. Chirag and I will stay back and you guys can do the sorting,” chipped in Preksha. Everybody agreed to the arrangement. Tarang picked up the full box and carried it to the reporter’s room on the fifth floor, which held the offices of the paper and magazine. As soon as he finished emptying the box, he set off to put it back and bring the other one. Every one was amazed at the response. The stack was growing higher and Shaina could see hope at the horizon. All day Namit, Tarang, Dhruv, Samira, and Shaina leafed through the sheets and after working non-stop for approximately 5 hours came to a list of ten for each topic. Armed with this Shaina and Samira went in to look for Sandy, as the rest of them went to canteen to grab a bite.
She found him in his office.
“ Can we talk to you for a minute Sandy?” asked Samira in a timid voice.
“ Right you guys are finally here. I have been waiting for you lot since morning. Sit down.”
“ Sandy we need to tell you something about the paper-” started Shaina, but she was stopped mid sentence by Sandy who raised a hand to stop her.
“ I know what you want to say. You want to start a new column right?”
“ Yes but how did you come to know of it? I just came with the best ten answers of the topics I gave in yesterday.”
“ Yes you came in now but I have been getting calls since morning. Students are really excited about this new column. They say it would give them a place to voice their opinions.”
“ So do I have a green signal?”
“ By all means. And we can increase the paper to once a week instead of fortnightly. It will mean more work for you guys but will you do it?”
“ Definitely.” Shaina and Samira got up to leave.
“ And yes Shaina you will not only be the assistant editor of the paper, but you will also decide which sheets to publish. It is your baby. Now get going. I have a lot of work to do!” and with this he waved them off.
Shaina started running and stopped straight at the canteen table where Namit was waiting for her.
“ I am so happy for you Shaina,” he was standing near the table, and not knowing what she was doing, she flew straight in his arms.
“ Can you believe it Namit? I certainly can’t.”
“ I can believe it Shaina, I can. I knew it you can do it honey.”
Everybody around them started clapping. Who would not clap when they see a new couple coming together? The noise brought them back to reality, and they realized where they were. They parted but they could both feel what happened was inevitable. It seemed as if they were waiting for this moment.
“ Sandy said I am heading ‘IT’S US’. And the paper is becoming weekly instead of fortnightly.”
“ I know. Sammy informed us before hand. You flew out of the building and she called us up,” he said winking at Samira who had just joined in.
“ By the way Shaina are you the only one who will head the department, or we are included to eat the cake?” Preksha asked
“ Forget it yaar! It calls for a party. Lets move on,” called in Chirag who was very exhausted after attending all the classes in the day. And with this everybody started their bikes, Shaina and Namit on one, Chirag and Preksha on one, Tarang alone and Sammy with Dhruv. After a long time everybody had come out together, and instead of going for a party, went in to watch a movie.
“ I need to talk to you,” Namit took Shaina by surprise in the middle of the movie. They went out to talk and saw Chirag in earnest conversation with Preksha in a corner.
“ Seems like a love story is about to start,” commented Shaina with a smile.
“ I feel like two stories are about to start instead of one.” Namit startled her once again.
“ What? Who else?”
“ We.”
“ Are you all right?”
“ Yes. The canteen incident made me realize I have been waiting for this to happen for quite some time now. Shaina, I had not realized it as yet but today in the canteen when you came in, I realized I have been in love with you all along. Will you have me?” Namit said in a damn serious tone, and Shaina was taken aback by his proposal. She too had realized that it was coming but it will come so soon, she had not anticipated. The canteen incident did not embarrass her. On the contrary she had felt secure in his arms, as if nothing could go wrong now that he was there.
“ I don’t know Namit. I seriously don’t know what I feel for you.”
“ Its ok for a start. We can evaluate things later. But I want you to know it that I’ll be there for you.”
Namit’s eyes spoke all that he had left unspoken and somewhere deep within Shaina felt something move in her. Her eyes said all that she did not say to him and he understood her silence more than her words. Just then, Chirag and Preksha came up to their table. They seemed a bit strained around each other and Shaina and Namit could feel the tension between them.
“ Whats up with you two?” Namit asked Chirag in a whisper.
“ Nothing. I just proposed her and she rejected.”
“ Seems like it’s a bad day for the two of us,” Namit wondered aloud.
“ What? You too?” Chirag asked disbelievingly. But before he could say another word Tarang, Dhruv and Samira joined them. The movie had just ended and forgetting all that they had just talked about they joined the fun game with the others. But Shaina could not help looking at Namit every now and then, and every time she looked at him something stirred within her. That night when she went home she told her mom everything that happened, who just gave her an I-told-you-so look and left her completely blank about what to do now.
Chapter 1
“ Do you think we are on the right track Shaina?” asked a nervous Preksha who was shivering with fright as if having a temperature of 103degrees.
“ I do not think and I am hardly sure of the way, but it is just a gut level feeling that we will reach somewhere,” replied Shaina.
“ Don’t tell me you don’t know the way! And we are hardly going anywhere except in circles and if you call it going anywhere, I am certainly not game!” shouted Tarang.
“ Don’t you dare blame me for a moment,” continued Shaina through clenched teeth, “ if you want you can jump out, now.” She said braking hard
Nobody moved a muscle, and after a moment, Shaina inched the Scorpio slowly forward.
“ We lost our way thanks to you Tarang. So now shut up and stop pestering her!” Preksha commented dryly.
It was more than enough to shut him up for quite some while. After traveling for another thirty minutes they finally could see civilization ahead and Preksha’s fear gave way to a new mood...The mood to play pranks.
“ Say somebody is sure quiet and sulking,” she said in a light tone.
“ Somebody is actually hurt enough to not speak a word,” replied Shaina.
“ Oh! I am glad that Her Highness actually noticed me after 30 minutes,” Tarang taunted.
“ I am talking about Namit. Is he still wet?”
“ Yes he is. But is he hurt?” Tarang asked.
“ Of course he is. He fell on that rock and has a cut on his shin, a bad one. But I am more worried about his being wet. Wait, I see a hotel. What say? We put up for the night? We can reach Mussorie in the morning?”
“ Seems like a good idea. We all can do with a rest.” Preksha seconded the idea.
“ I guess I am not left with much choice. My buddy is sleeping and you girls will not give me any other option. So I am stuck with whatever you girls decide.” Tarang’s anger was peeping through his voice, try as much he might to not show it.
“ Ok gang, we camp here. Tarang would you please ask if they have two rooms available?” said Preksha as Shaina parked in front of an old dilapidated building which boasted of being an inn.
Obediently and angrily Tarang went in to make the enquiries and returned after 15 minutes with a long face.
“ What happened? They do not have space?” asked a worried Preksha.
“ No they have space but not two rooms. One suite, that also on the first floor!”
“ So whats the problem? We will take it. We are not left with much choice my friend,” said Shaina glancing towards Namit who was visibly not well.
“ All right then. Come on in.”
“ You guys take him and change his clothes. I’ll unload the car and park it.” Saying this Shaina opened the back door of the Scorpio. Namit was sleeping and instead of waking him up, Tarang simply carried his small frame all the way to the suite. Namit as it is seemed like a kid in front of the heavily built boxer body of Tarang. Five feet eleven inches in height, Tarang was a PROFFESIONAL boxer and his hefty body DID LITTLE TO HIDE that. He could have picked up both Preksha and Namit together without a flinch. Namit was just the opposite. He was of the same height but a smaller body frame and his slender figure made him look taller.
By the time Shaina had unloaded their luggage and got them to their suite, Namit was already snuggled in the bedroom. She unpacked for him and asked Tarang to change his clothes as she unpacked for herself in the hall.
“ What next? It is just half past eight? Can we go sight seeing? At least get to know the name of the place we are at?” Tarang asked Shaina.
“ Why don’t you and Preksha move around and check out the place? I am very tired to come along. And anyways some one needs to be with him,” replied Shaina dressing his wound.
“ You sure you don’t want to come along Shaina?” Preksha asked.
“ You go ahead Preksha. I need a hot shower and some sleep.”
“ As you say Mam!” and saying thus the two of them freshened up to go shopping and find out things about the place they were staying at. As soon as they left, Shaina ordered tea and snacks for the two of them through room service. She was hungry and she figured he too could do well with some thing to bite. The weather outside suggested a romantic night and looking at Namit sleeping peacefully on the bed it was hard for Shaina to resist the romance. Everything around her seemed to be in love and for once looking at him, she forgot the bitter fight and felt all that love for him surging through her entire being. The time that they had spent together, the loneliness that now engulfed them and the weather that was, it was hard for her to stay away from him. She could vividly remember now how they had first met.
Friday, June 3, 2011
A Thought...
I have been home for almost 36 hours now... and I have already started to settle into my old routine... true I have changed a lot in the past couple of years. also true that my attitude towards life has changed but there is another truth that super cedes everything else... the fact that the last two years have taught me not just how to be independent but also the importance of being away and being with family. I always thought that if I were to live alone, anywhere in this whole wide world, there would be a million things that I would want to do... all that I haven't done at home... I will have experiences for which I have been yearning since I don't know when!!!
but when I was out of this city and also for a period out of the country, I realized that life wasn't the bed of roses I had imagined. In fact it wasn't even a single rose.... the only thing that I did encounter was thorns!!! One could have told me that no rose comes without a thorn, and I would have believed that, had I not encountered a rose bush whose sole purpose was to provide me with the thorns and someone else the roses!!!
Looking back at these two years, I realize exactly where all the roses were deposited while I was collecting the thorns!
Since coming back, I have met so many of my relatives... each and every one of them asking me the same question... "Are you here for good?"
And all I can say every time is that for the time being that's what it looks like...
The reason I am bringing this up here is very simple... I have made plans for myself. but like they say... "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans!"
Who knows what Life has been brewing for me, while I was busy making plans of my own... those plans which will not materialize because Life's brew will be all over it!
I sometimes wonder... if my plans were different, would Life's brew also have changed? Is it my plans which decide which brew Life is gonna soak it in? Or is it something else that decides what Life brings to us every single moment...
I met a very old friend of mine today... he has been very upset lately... and sitting beside him... talking to him... I realized that his depressing conversation failed to depress me. There must have been a fundamental change in me... that has been brought out by someone out there... generally when someone else is moping, I too get depressed. Maybe not immediately, but it definitely affects my mood later. But that just didn't happen today. He was moping, was even morbid, but I just couldn't bring myself to the point where I too would feel like nothing is right in my life. In fact, I came home and told my brother... that for the first time in my life, I am happy being where I am... and even though I want more out of life, I am contented at this stage and ready to move forward with a huge smile...
Yes something has changed in me... and I have no clue who is responsible for this... is it me... or my new friends... or just Life's Brew.... whatever it is... I am glad it has come to my rescue... :)
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